More New York City Floor Plan Porn: Christopher M. Jeffries

SELLER: Christopher M. Jeffries
LOCATION: New York City, NY
PRICE: $77,500,000 (Yes, puppies, that's correct. It's really listed at $77,500,000)
SIZE: 10,882 square feet, 4 bedrooms, 5 full and 2 half bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: While property gossips around the world were going ape shit yesterday over the official listings and floor plans for late (and famously reclusive) copper heiress Huguette Clark's three sprawling co-operative apartments at 907 Fifth Avenue, real estate developer Christopher M. Jeffries (not entirely) quietly slipped his monumental Manhattan duplex condominium on the market with a positively bone-chilling price tag of $77,500,000.

Mister Jeffries, married for a few years to Princess Yasmin Aga Khan in the early 1990s, founded Millennium Partners in order to—as per Millennium's website—"pioneer a new concept in mixed-use, urban living and entertainment centers." He teamed up with both the Four Seasons Hotels & Resorts and The Ritz-Carlton Hotel Company to develop luxury projects and has clearly been enormously successful.

Mister Jeffries acquired his humongous urban aerie, according to The New York Times, in 2002 for $20,000,000 and the current asking price makes it the most expensive condominium currently on the open market in New York City. While the stratospheric asking price certainly makes Your Mama gasp, guffaw and stomp our feet with flabbergast, it's probably not so out of the ball park given that Russian bajillionaire Dmitry Rybolovlev recently dropped $88,000,000 on retired financier Sanford 'Sandy' Weill's significantly smaller—but no less jaw dropping—penthouse atop supah-swank 15 Central Park West.

15 Central Park West—it and its sardine-like crush of freakishly rich and powerful residents the juicy subject of Michael Gross' next tome—may get most of the glory in the real estate media but the lesser ballyhooed, comparatively discreet and far more boutique-y dozen-unit Ritz-Carlton Residences on Central Park South ain't exactly real estate chopped liver, children.

StreetEasy shows only five of the lavishly large condos have changed hands in the last five years and Your Mama's rudimentary calculations show a hefty-hefty-hefty five-year average sale price of $24,750,000. The astronomical monthlies provide residents with the 5-star services of the Ritz-Carlton Hotel that occupies the first 20 or so floors of building that stands directly across the street from the southern edge of Central Park.

The 23rd floor unit—9,455 square feet with 5 bedrooms and 7.5 bathrooms—sold in the early days of 2007 for $29,500,000 and carried with it common charges and taxes, as per listing information from the time, that totaled $23,351 per month. As ear-piercingly high as that sounds (and is), it pales in comparison to the super-jumbo $29,651 in taxes and common charges due each month on Mister Jefferies' mcmansion-sized condo. That, children, is a heart-stopping $355,812 a year just to keep your key turning in the lock.

At 10,882 square feet, the vast, u-shaped mansion in the sky encompasses the entire 30th and 31st floors of the polished Art Deco tower with 26 park-facing windows and an 80-foot wide terrace that provide the exact sort of sweeping views over Central Park of which the New York City real estate dreams of the mega-rich are woven.

The main entrance and public rooms on the upper level include a brazenly capacious, nearly thousand square foot living room with mahogany-colored wood floors (that may or may not actually be mahogany), a regimented quintet of arched windows with big park view and terrace access, and a soaring, 15-foot gold-leafed coffered ceiling. There are two fireplaces, one at each end of the nearly 45-foot long room done up in a decidedly traditional, medium-level fussy day-core with lustrous jewel-toned fabrics, glittery crystal chandeliers—probably antiques and more than likely shockingly costly—and a lot of very expensive- and authentic-looking Chinoserie things.

The east wing of the upper level contains an intimately-scaled media room with park view and built-in entertainment cabinet as well as a "display room" for displaying museum quality trinkets and tchotchke, and a nearly 500-square foot library with built-in book cases and open city views to the south. Deep walk-in closets and storage areas plus a wonderfully private half bathroom complete the wing.

The upper level's west wing stretches back from the foyer and includes an airy formal dining room with eight windows on three sides, a fireplace on the fourth wall, and direct access to a fairly narrow west facing terrace with city and oblique park views. The adjacent, almost 35-foot long, suburban mansion-sized kitchen—no doubt a state-of-the-art culinary tour-de-force—has seven windows with park and city views and an adjoining, compactly cozy breakfast room that opens out to the aforementioned 80-foot wide terrace that runs along the north side of the apartment and practically hangs over Central Park.

Technically, the hulking apartment has four bedrooms but a quick study of the floor plan reveals two of them, both with en suite facilities, are quite small and tucked less than optimally into the back of the condo's lower level, opposite the bedroom-sized laundry room. A third, much more amply proportioned guest bedroom just off the lower level foyer/sitting room has direct park views and an attached bathroom but does not have—as far as we can see from per the floor plan—a closet.

The (possible) lack of closet space in the guest bedroom is more than made up for in the approximately 3,000 square foot master suite that consumes the entire east wing of the duplex's lower level and includes a 25-foot long entry gallery, a behemoth bedroom with fireplace and panoramic city and park views, his and her (park view) bathrooms and his and her custom-fitted dressing rooms.

His dressing room has a separate walk-in closet and direct park view and her 800 (or so) square foot, multi-room boo-dwar features a wee fitness room, a colossal, custom fitted dressing room with all kinds of built-in nooks and crannies for shoes, handbags and what-have-yous, and at the very rear of the exceptionally spacious space, a closet-lined sitting room with built in desk and open city views to the south.

Your Mama might suggest the next owner drop in an essentially hidden and tightly coiled staircase in the over-sized storage closet off the upper level's east wing corridor that directly connects to the lady's dressing room on the lower level.

The gigantic duplex, as it turns out, is not the only unit at the Ritz-Carlton Residences on Central Park South Mister Jeffries has owned. Our research turned up some 411 that clearly indicates the real estate tycoon purchased the 5,954 square foot, full floor simplex unit directly below his 30th and 31st floor duplex in December 2005 for $16,292,000 that he turned around and sold in July 2008 for $28,500,000. Taxes and common charges totaled $17,740 at that time of the 2008 sale.

The 29th floor sprawler, according to listing information from the time, has 3-4 bedrooms—including an approx. 1,500 square foot master suite, a total of 4 bathrooms, and 3 terraces—two that directly face Central Park. The buyer was hedge fund honcho Scott Bommer—a man well-known by New York real estateophiles for his exorbitantly high-priced real estate purchases—who re-sold the property in August 2011 for $30,000,000 to mysterious corporate entity with a Miami, FL address.

Like many wealthy Manhattanites, Mister Jeffries also owns a substantial estate in the Hamptons. Property records show since at least the late 1990s he's owned a fully-landscaped 5.5 acre spread directly across the street from Rick and Kathy Hilton's Hamptons hideaway in the exclusive (but not oceanfront) Fordune enclave. The Suffolk County Tax Man confirms for Your Mama that Mister Jeffries is a bit of a real estate size queen: the main house of his Southampton spread measures  a very considerable 14,685 square feet with 9 bedrooms and 12 bathrooms. The property, gated and entirely tree-ringed for privacy, includes additional living space that adjoins the detached three-bay garage, a party-sized motor court, tennis court with viewing pavilion, and swimming pool complex with spa, extensive sunbathing terraces, and poolside cabana.

This is not, it may or may not surprise the children to learn, the first mansion in Fordune Mister Jeffries has owned. In early 2000 he sold a smaller estate next door to his current house that public property records reveal spreads out over 3.13 acres and includes a 7,037 square foot mansion, tennis court, and swimming pool.

interior and view photos and floor plan (NYC): Brown Harris Stevens
aerial image: Bing

Floor Plan Porn: Hugette Clark

They're here...official listings the floor plans for all three of Huguette Clark's apartments at 907 Fifth Avenue.

Apartment 8E has 12 rooms, faces East 72nd Street—and not Central Park, an asking price of $12,000,000, and $7,756 monthly co-operative common charges and maintenance fees according to listing information.

An almost ludicrously grand 47-plus foot long reception gallery and a discreet service corridor link the two wings of the approximately 5,000 square foot spread that includes six—six!—public rooms: entrance gallery, reception room, formal living and dining rooms, library, and small conservatory/solarium.

The floor plans shows three fireplaces (living, dining, library), two principal bedrooms, three surprisingly spacious staff rooms and a real damn dearth of bathrooms for an apartment of this magnitude and price. Our boozy eyeballs count just one shared facility in the service wing and another wedged Jack-and-Jill-style between the two bedrooms. In it's current configuration, a guest must tinkle where the staff squats or traipse through one of the bedrooms in order to wash their hands or do their dirty business.

The adjacent eight floor apartment—that would be 8W—has 10 rooms, carries a $19,000,000 price tag, and claims more than 100 precious feet of Fifth Avenue frontage with direct Central Park Views. Maintenance and common charges for the unit run $8,167 according to listing information.

The floor plan reveals a 37-plus foot long entrance gallery (with adjoining powder room and wet bar), a 400-plus square foot living room with fireplace, a library/bedroom also with fireplace plus a private bath, and an unexpectedly small formal dining room and, for an apartment this size, a positively puny kitchen.

A humongous park view master suite includes a private entry vestibule, a 400-plus square foot sitting room, three walk-in closets, two (windowed) bathrooms, and corner bedroom with corner fireplace and what appears to be a wet bar, the perfect amenity for late night and early morning tippers like Your Mama.

Staff accommodations in 8W include a double-wide bedroom with access to a hall bathroom and another usually generous at the extreme rear of the apartment with direct access to a private (and windowed) bathrooms.

Separately the 8th floor apartments are both—quirks and all—extraordinarily spacious for New York City. A combined, full-floor residence—should the board allow it—would be beyond epic and likely worth much more than the current combined asking price of $31,000,000.

Up on the twelfth floor, where Miz Clark lived in the 1920s—she eventually remodeled and moved to 8W—spreads out over 5,000 square feet with 14 rooms, has more than 100 feet of Fifth Avenue and Central Park frontage, and currently carries an asking price of $24,000,000. Monthly maintenance runs, according to listing information, $14,382.

Like both of her 8th floor apartments, 12W also has a bowling alley-like entrance gallery, a 400-plus square foot living room with fireplace, and a formal dining room (also with fireplace). The New York Times reported, "Many of the rooms were decorated in ornate Louis XVI style" and listing information states there are 11-foot ceilings, stone door surrounds, linen-fold panel doors, herringbone pattern hardwood floors, and ornate, Louis XVI-style moldings.

Two of the four rooms labeled as bedrooms on the floor plan have private (windowed) bathrooms—one bedroom with corner fireplace—and the two other bedrooms—one with fireplace and private sitting room—share a (windowed) Jack-and-Jill-type of bathroom. There's an additional sitting room off the long bedroom corridor and a small study just off the entrance gallery.

The service areas include an L-shaped pantry, kitchen, breakfast room (with service entrance) and three prison cell-sized staff bedrooms that share one (windowed) bathroom.

Now that they're out there on the open market we suspect there will be a swarm of interested parties. Anyone willing to predict how quickly (or slowly) they'll sell and at what prices?

Many thanks to all the childre—who know who you are—who sent Your Mama links to the listings and the various updated reports on the matter.

floor plans: Brown Harris Stevens

UPDATE: Jennifer Aniston (Again)

Did sit-com star and rom-com movie queen Jennifer Aniston very quietly off-load a pair of New Your City apartments she scooped up less than a year ago for exactly—as per StreetEasy and our bejeweled abacus—$7,019,084?

Stranger things have happened.

A source "close to the building" tattled to the property gossips at the Daily News that Miz Aniston has already sold the apartments, "possibly to someone who already lives in the building." Did you hear the gasps heard 'round the celebrity real estate world. Did she really? Who bought them? Did she turn a profit? Endure a punishing loss? Anyone? Bueller?

The apartments were (and are) not listed on the open market and property records we perused do not yet reflect a transfer of ownership for either of Miz Aniston's unwanted aeries, a one bedroom apartment on the 17th floor and, directly above it, a one bedroom penthouse apartment with wrap around terrace and toe-curling, 270-degree city views.

Miz Aniston has been quite busy the last year shuffling the cards in her real estate property portfolio. Besides the buying and (rumored) selling of her New York City digs, within the last year she's also sold a freshly renovated and expanded Beverly Hills mansion for $35,000,000 to a yoga-minded Orange County-based mutual fund mogul, leased a comparatively tiny ranch-cottage at the tippy-top of the Bird Streets above Sunset Strip, and just weeks ago she and current man-beau Justin Theroux dropped a dramatic $20,970,000 on an real whopper of a house in Bel Air, a glassy, 8,500 (or so) square foot A. Quincy Jones-designed mid-century modern mansioin on more than three gated acres with separate guest house and poolside pavilion.

Between the fast-moving romance and the equally brisk real estate it's a God damn wonder Miz Aniston had two minutes in the last year to make movie and pal around with her deliciously smart-mouthed new b.f.f. Chelsea Handler.

UPDATE: Huguette Clark

After much speculation about their fate(s) and scads of unsubstantiated whispers about domestic arts tycoon (and building resident) Martha Stewart sniffing and snorting around, a trio of New York City cooperative apartments on Fifth Avenue owned by the estate of the late reclusive copper heiress Huguette Clark will soon—and somewhat surprisingly—hit the open market.

Mysterious Miz Clark passed away in May 2011 at 104 years old after spending the last several decades of her deeply idiosyncratic life living under various pseudonyms in a perfectly ordinary (and purposefully mis-marked) room on the third floor of the Beth Israel Medical Center in New York City.

Miz Clark's day-to-day needs were seen to by a small group of nurses and aides and her vast inherited fortune was managed by a couple of not particularly savory-sounding gentleman, that would be attorney Wally Bock and accountant Irving Kamsler. Mister Bock and Kamsler have come under a great deal of (legal) scrutiny since their golden egg went to meet her maker and were recently removed from managing Miz Clark's estate after a Manhattan judge found "'shocking' evidence of tax fraud" and other nefarious conduct by the two men.

When all this ugly business about Miz Clark's state of affairs was busted open wide by Pulitzer Prize winning journalist Bill Dedman in the months before Miz Clark died, most subsequent reports then described Miz Clark's New York City apartment(s) as encompassing 42 rooms and having a potential value of somewhere in the neighborhood of $100,000,000.

In reality, as pointed out in The New York Post earlier today, Miz Clark's oft-referred-to 42 rooms are in fact spread throughout three separate apartments on two non-contiguous floors in an imposing, limestone-clad pre-war pile on the corner of Fifth Avenue and busy-busy-busy East 72nd Street designed by noted architect J.E.R. Carpenter and have a total value more realistically pegged at a still astonishing $45-65,000,000.

So the story goes, Miz Clark had hardly if at all stepped foot in any of the three apartments for decades before she died but they were none-the-less—as were her other luxury residences in Connecticut and California—kept broom clean and generally well maintained by a skeleton staff of caretakers, gardeners and hired house keeping services.

The three apartments at 907 Fifth Avenue include an approximately 5,000 square foot half floor unit up on the twelfth floor—the top floor—where she reportedly kept an unusually extensive collection of (rare) dolls. The unit—originally designed with a dozen or more rooms plus a warren of staff rooms—is expected to be listed for around $25,000,000 according to The New York Post.

Miz Clark's pair of eight floor apartments are expected to sell for a total of $20-35,000,000 according to The New York Post who also revealed some important details about Miz Huguettes eighth-floor apartments that Your Mama did not previously know: The powerful co-op board has yet  to determine if they'll allow the two units—adjacent but not actually joined—to be combined into one large apartment. Should the board allow for that option, the full-floor, park view sprawler would likely be more valuable than the two apartments separately and measure in at more than 10,000 square feet, a quite rare amount of contiguous space even for super-swank Fifth Avenue.

We should all expect a feeding frenzy when (and if) the listings go public, especially if they include photos and floor plans for which all us property mad people would hold our breath for a year to get a good, long peep.

photo: James Schaefer for Property Shark

It's Britney's House, Beotch

SELLER: the conservatorship for Britney Spears
LOCATION: Beverly Hills, CA
PRICE: $2,995,000
SIZE: 7,453 square feet, 5 bedrooms, 6 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Your Mama's inbox practically overflows this morning with breathless and squinty-eyed queries about the 5 bedroom and 6 bathroom Beverly Hills, CA mansion owned by recently engaged pop music superstar Britney Spears* that unexpectedly popped back up on the (open) market yesterday with an asking price of $2,995,000.

*Technically, the Bev Hills area house is owned by the court-appointed conservatorship that manages Miz Spears financial affairs. More on that in a minute.

Tabloid and celebrity gossip glossy readers will recall this is the very same (in)famous mansion where Miz Spears lived during her chaotic, troubling and terribly public meltdown in 2006-08. Remember those days, kittens, when just about every damn day there was some new, horrible thing in the press about Miz Spears shaving her head and/or clumsily exposing her lady parts? Those days, thankfully and hopefully, are long behind the mother of two, now risen like a phoenix from her mental and professional ashes.

No matter how you slice it, $2,995,000 is a lot of freaking money for a single family house but, in this case, according to Your Mama's bejeweled abacus, it's also a pocketbook punishing $3,755,000 less than the $6,750,000 property records show Miz Spears impulsively paid for the 7,453 square foot faux-Tuscan villa in January 2007. Miz Spears, at that time an erratic hot mess who gal palled around with party goers like Paris Hilton, quickly caught an extreme case of The Celebrity Real Estate Fickle and the property, which she reportedly purchased almost completely furnished, was back on the market within a month with a $7,495,000 asking price. Since then, the two-story, canyon view mansion has been on and off the market so many times at so many prices that we just can't be bothered to count and recall them all.

Although Miz Spears paid nearly seven million smackers for the well-maintained manse, a little calculating of comparable cribs shows the current price tag of nearly three million dollars stands well in line with the recent sales of equivalently sized and equipped mansions in The Summit, a 24-hour guard-gated community that spreads tentacle-like over the rugged ridges that divide Beverly Hills from Studio City.

The late Ed McMahon's 7,013 square foot mansion just sold for $3,475,000 and actress Holly Robinson Peete (Mike & Molly, Hangin' With Mr. Cooper) and her retired professional pigskinner husband Rodney Peete sold their 7,234 square foot mansion—as a short sale—in November (2011) for $3,015,000 after first listing it in early 2007 for $5,995,000.

Listing information shows Miz Spears former home is offered as a "Probate Sale. Subject to Court Confirmation." The most common kind of court confirmed probate sale is, as anybody who knows any thing about real estate surely knows, when the executor of the estate of a deceased person sells off a piece of real estate. Miz Spears, however and of course, is quite alive.

A little research on the interweb brought to our attention another, lesser known type of probate sale when real property is sold under a conservatorship, as is the situation of Miz Spears' former residence in The Summit. In 2008, when Miz Spears was still in the ugly thick of her troubles, the entirety of her personal and business affairs were placed by court order under a conservatorship headed up by her father and an attorney.

The sometimes long and difficult conservatorship sale process is much better explained on the website of Miz Spears' real estate agent than Your Mama could or would ever care to do justice. If you yearn for the details we suggest you head on over there.

As it turns out, in addition to Brit-brit's unwanted white elephant in Beverly Hills, there are at least three other luxury residences in the Los Angeles area once owned or occupied by Miz Spears and currently for sale on the open market.

In her pre-melt down days Miz Spears was married to one of her former backup dancers, a showbiz buffoon named Kevin Federline who at one time fancied himself a bit of a (white) rapper. Nowadays he makes a living appearing on weight loss reality programs. For most of Kevin and Brit's not-quite-three-year marriage the young couple hunkered down and made babies in a gated compound tucked into the very back of the sylvan and swanky guard-gated Serra Retreat in Malibu, CA.

The ill-fated pair's Malibu love shack sat smack between a mansion owned by Olivia Newton John (since sold) and two mansions both owned by three-time Oscar-winning filmmaker James Cameron. Some of their other notable nearby neighbors included mouthy and volatile actor Mel Gibson, octogenarian entertainer Dick Van Dyke, and sit-com star Kesley Grammer and his now ex-wife Camille of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

Miz Spears and her ex-mister sold the nearly 10,000 square foot spread for ten million clams shortly after they were divorced in the summer of 2007. The buyer was horror film writer/producer/director Stephen Sommers (Van Helsing and The Mummy franchise) who gave the entire property a complete overhaul and currently has the 6 bedroom and 7.5 bathroom compound back on the market with a $13,500,000 price tag.

Newly single Miz Spears moved from her Serra Retreat retreat to a couple of rented residences before she rather rashly snatched up the mansion in The Summit.

Sometime in late 2008 or early 2009 Miz Spears (and etc.) vacated her faux-Tuscan residence in The Summit—the scene of so much drama and difficulty for the celeb—and decamped for a 6 bedroom and 7 bathroom leased mansion dubbed Chateau Suenos in The Oaks, a upscale, double-gated development in proto-suburban Calabasas (CA). The 9,211 square foot (mc)mansion (rear shown above) is now back on the market with an asking price of $5,999,000. We've heard but can not confirm the suburban mini-estate was twice toured by 18-year old bubblegum pop music phenom Justin Beiber.

From the big house in Calabasas, Miz Spears moved on to an even bigger mansion on 3-plus acres estate in the guard-gated Hidden Hills community. The multi-winged mansion (rear shown above) encompasses nearly 20,000 square feet, includes a massive entertaining pavilion with hotel lobby-sized ballroom, and contains a total of 10 bedrooms and 13 bathrooms. Outside the, expansive, high maintenance and fully-landscaped estate offers a private pond, sunken tennis court, and dark-bottomed lagoon style swimming pool with Playboy Mansion-esque spa grotto.

The property, owned by L.A.-based construction magnate (and current resident of Beverly Park) Ron Tutor, was once on the market with an asking price of $18,900,000 but now has a significantly lower $9,995,000 price tag.

Hidden Hills, celebrity property watchers well know, is riddled with mansions owned by entertainment and music industry bigwigs who include (but are far from limited to) include Jennifer Lopez, Melissa Etheridge and Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne who have their house in H.H. listed for $12,999,000.

Miz Spears (and family) currently occupy a rented mansion in an upscale, guard-gated golf community in Thousand Oaks, CA. The house (rear shown above), which all sources say she leased, was last listed for sale with an asking price of $8,900,000, measures 10,567 square feet according to listing information we teased up out of the interweb, and includes 5 bedrooms, 6.5 bathrooms and hilltop views of the manicured greens and fairways of the surrounding Sherwood Country Club.

listing photos (Beverly Hills): Prudential California / Beverly Hills
listing photo (Calabasas): Ewing and Associates / Sotheby's International Real Estate 
listing photo (Hidden Hills): Partners Trust / Brentwood
listing photo (Malibu): Re/Max / Olson & Associates

The Teddy Forstmann Property Sell Off

The New York Post let the real estate cat out of the bag yesterday when they gave the juicy low down on the east coast residential property holdings of recently passed Wall Street billionaire and philanthropist Teddy Forstmann, now being prepped for sale and shopped around by the executors of his estimated $1.6 billion estate.

Mister's Forstmann's name many not be instantly recognized by folks who don't read about global finance, big business and other such affairs but he will certainly be known to gossip glossy readers as one of Princess Diana's several (and alleged) man friends and, for the last few years, up until he succumbed to cancer last November (2011), the long-time man-mate of raven-haired beauty and Top Chef hostess Padma Lakshmi. 

The peeps at The Post revealed Mister Forstmann's (approx.) 9,000 square foot ocean front mansion on Southampton's supah-swank Meadow Lane will soon hit the market with a $34,000,000 price tag and his New York City spread—a 4,000 square foot duplex atop a Rosario Candela-designed building on East 70th Street with wrap around terrace and Central Park view over the Frick Collection—is currently and quietly being shown to relevant real estate agents and verifiably affluent buyers with an unofficial/off-market asking price of $36,000,000.

What The Post didn't mention is that in addition to his significant east coast cribs Mister Forstmann has long owned a pretty darned delicious estate in the Beverly Hills Post Office area that Your Mama hears through the Beverly Hills real estate gossip grapevine is expected to become available in the not too distant future with an asking price somewhere in the neighborhood of $17,000,000.

Property records are a tiny bit spongy but as best as we can tell Mister Forstmann paid $6,500,000 for the gated estate in May 1990.

The Los Angeles County Tax Man shows the traditional, colonial-style crib sits on 3.59 acres near the top of Coldwater Canyon, was originally erected in 1937, measures in at a sizable but far from overblown 7,136 square feet and includes 6 bedrooms and 6 bathrooms. We have no idea if the Tax Man's records are an accurate reflection of the mansion's current size and etc.

The desirably private, plateau-like property has a long and dramatic gated drive that snakes up a tree-shaded hillside to a pair of motor courts, one at the front of the house the other around the side where there's a three-bay attached garage. The far end of the property hangs over famed Mulholland Drive and includes an all but hidden from view, tennis court with night-lights and viewing platform, a massive flat and manicured free-form lawn, various courtyard gardens, and a resort-y swimming pool complex with wide sunbathing and lounging terraces, separate sunken spa, massive outdoor fireplace, and pool side cabana.

Other entertainment industry types who own homes in the immediate 'hood include 2002 Oscar-nominee Queen Latifah, actor/comedian David Alan Grier, and thrice Oscar-nominated actress Amy Adams.

aerial photo: Google

UPDATE: Kim Kardashian

Listen, chickens, Your Mama knows some of y'all would rather run rusty razors up under your toenails than read a damn thing about Paris Hilton's former frenemy turned amateur porn star turned (arguably over-exposed) reality show denizen turned kleig light-luvin' showbiz super-mogul Kim Kardashian. And we feel you. We really do.

None-the-less, pickins are a bit slim today and difficult as it may be for some to believe, for each of the children who could kare less about K.K.'s real estate-related activities, there are 12 more butter beans ringing our virtual bell. The more that bell ring-a-ling-a-lings the more money drops in to Your Mama coin purse. Don't hate because a person has to do what they got to do. Just because Your Mama's wagon is hitched to a BMW-driving doctor doesn't mean we get a free ride and don't have bills to pay like every body else. Not interested in K.K.? Then scoot yourself right along and we'll have something else for you to gnash your celebrity real estate teeth on soon enough.

Last week all us celebrity property gossips went 49 kinds of hog wild about a nearly 7,000 square foot mock-Med meets Asian-infused Craftsman-style mansion in the star-studded and guard-gated Mulholland Estates community near Sherman Oaks, CA that was—y'all will recall—widely and—as it turns out—incorrectly reported to have been leased by the recently married and quickly divorced K.K. for somewhere in the neighborhood of forty grand a month.

It wasn't long after our (embarrassingly bloated) discussion of the Mulholland Estates mansion before we received a covert communique from a chatty tattletale—let's call her Wanda Dishsomedirt—who whispered in Your Mama's ear that K.K. recently twice toured an 8,000-plus square foot mansion privately situated behind the elaborate gates of a small and swank enclave high in the rugged mountains above Beverly Hills.

Everybody with a damn brain understands that just because K.K. (allegedly) took a couple of spins through the posh property priced at almost eight-point-five million bucks doesn't mean she'll actually proceed with a purchase contract or lease agreement. All of this is just some silly celebrity real estate rumor and gossip at this point. 

Should the house huntress decide to lease or acquire the mini-estate in question, however, listing information indicates she'd lay claim to a red tile-roofed, 10-year old mock-Med mansion replete with a grand two-story foyer, formal living and dining rooms plus a great room with projection system and high-def movie screen, 6 bedrooms, 7 bathrooms, and a 150-bottle wine cellar.

Listing information goes on to show the walled, gated and landscaped acre-plus grounds include a long, gated driveway at the front that leads to a tiled motor court with 3-car garage and at the rear a deep, bougainvillea-draped patio that overlooks the swimming pool, party-sized 12-person spa, and  soccer pitch-sized lawn. Beyond all that is an expansive view of the surrounding canyon and mountains.

K.K. kurrently owns a nearly 4,000 square foot faux-Tuscan villa in the Beverly Hills Post Office area purchased, according to property records, in February 2010 for $3,400,000. It was here at the front gate of K.K.'s 5 bedroom and 4.5 bathroom mansion where some creepy "fan" showed up with his luggage and attempted to persuade the K.K.'s private security detail he was meant to move in to the mansion during the taping of whatever reality program K.K. was scheduled to begin taping. It was this intruder alert ridiculousness that had has led K.K.—so the scuttlebutt goes—to seek out a new krib that offers a higher level of security and a greater degree of privacy.

Were K.K. to ask Your Mama's advice—and we'd bet both our long-bodied bitches Linda and Beverly she won't—we'd suggest she hightail her Alaska-sized backside right on back to the hot as Hades far western suburbs of Los Angeles from whence she came where she can currently choose from two mansions previously leased by pop music megastar Britney Spears.

Several years ago Miz Spears rented the so-called Chateau Suenos, a nearly 10,000 square foot faux-French "chateau" set on 1.2 landscaped acres in a double-gated enclave in Calabasas. The 6 bedroom and 7 bathroom beast of a house, which Your Mama heard but can not confirm was twice toured by Justin Beiber, has been on and off the market for—literally—years and is currently listed at $5,999,000.

Perhaps a better or at least more grandiose option for K.K. might be the upscale but guard-gated, low-key, and celebrity-friendly Hidden Hills community—long the locale of the Kardashian-Jenner family seat—where she might want to konsider the massive, 19,107 square foot Tudor-style mansion recently vacated by Miz Spears and now available to pre-qualified buyers only with an asking price of $9,995,000. Some of the children may recall the owner of the three-plus acre high-maintenance estate—that would be construction tycoon Ron Tutor—unsuccessfully attempted to sell the 10 bedroom and 13 bathroom estate with a much higher $18,900,000 price tag.